Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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