idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
