forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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