I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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