Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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