I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
