Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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