My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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