Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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