Why are handjobs necessary in class?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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