I think i peed on brittanys purse
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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