it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
