Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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