Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
please come you make the beer taste better
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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