Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
