I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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