Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
