Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
