Porn is love you can see.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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