i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
