worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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