I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
