I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize