Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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