Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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