Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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