Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
