No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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