As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize