i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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