my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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