There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize