She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
