Yo dont text me then not text me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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