There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
