Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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