is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
