my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
