Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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