Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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