That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
