This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We had sex on a dog bed..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
