As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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