I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
