It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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