He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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