whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Randomize
