i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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