i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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