Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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