Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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