it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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