When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
