Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
