so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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