Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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