Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
