Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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