It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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