So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
