I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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