So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
