please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
