what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
