i jhust puked up my retainher.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
