Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
