I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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